Dear Old Man Winter,
This letter is to inform you that you have overstayed your welcome and are being evicted.
Effective immediately you must remove all of your belongings and leave the premises.
Your cold and snow has begun to cause problems in the neighbourhood and for the benefit of the others living here this course of action is required.
I believe that this is just a brief misunderstanding because we didn’t have issues like this with your departure last year. According to our records you allowed Miss Spring to take over the premises and to enjoy 22 degree Celsius temperatures. Unfortunately your frigid temperatures and dusting a of snow have outlived their welcome.
I have received a fax from the Easter Bunny and he is delivering a bike in a week so the upmost urgency is required in the situation.
Please re-submit your application for residency next fall and at that time we will be happy to consider you again for residency but not until that time.
Shannon on behalf of
The People Who Are Tired of Winter