The past few weeks have been really rough.
At one job, one person has entered the employee pool and has brought morale so low that half of the employees quit. I am to the point of having full blown anxiety attacks over having to go to work. And I go to work everyday with my letter of resignation in case I’ve had enough. Which I have but I am trying to hold on for a while longer.
At another job I have been beating myself up because I seem completely incompetent. I walked in to help and clean up things and I have been running in circles. It turns out that I was completely set up for failure and the delays in progressing are not not due to my knowledge. Granted I still have so much more to learn.
We’re coming up to the last 19 days of my courses. And I’m to the point where I’m calculating that if I don’t finish a project 100% can I still pass. I hate being a student like that and one course is going to seriously hit my GPA but as it turns out I can only do so much.
I really hadn’t planned to work and be so busy this summer. There is a wave of guilt because everything I wanted to do with Adam is just not happening. I really hope though that he realizes that because of all I am doing this summer should make for a wonderful Christmas and a better summer next year.
There is a master plan in all this chaos, there are dates set for things, completion dates are in sight. And in the long run I will be a better Mommy and wife and a happier person doing what I enjoy.
Have you seen the movie Inside Out? In the end it turns out that some of the best memories in life are born from the saddest parts. I’ll just keep reminding myself that as this picture explains my emotions so well right now: